Sue Balding's Blog Site

If you take a good look in the mirror in the morning and smile at yourself - even if you are waking up cranky - you set off the endorphines that produce "happy." Your baby is crying for you to come pick her up and if you come in with that same smile on your face, you can stop her crying and start her day off the same way.

It's true that we all have a great influence on each other every day. To be aware of how important this is may make you think twice about your face that you put on each morning. Do you even realize that you have so much power? How did your mom wake you in the morning? What do you consciously want to do differently to make your whole family's day start off on a good footing?

What else does a smile give to anyone you come in contact with? It is hard to argue or be angry with someone who is happy. I challenge you to try this tomorrow on yourself, your children, even the check out person at the market. It is true that what we give out we get back multiplied!

Here's to your good day!

Please tell your own good story about how a smile has affected you.

Extreme parenting, I think, is missing the mark. That's why I wrote: "Moms Who Hate to Say NO!". A great gift that comes from parenting is teaching limits to our children. That means, what is appropriate, acceptable, meaningful, loving. All these things can be construed in extreme measures it's true. In the perfect world we would all parent the same. Life likes to teach us what that is and we all interpret from there.But where's the balance?

Setting limits, boundaries, caring what we are intentionally teaching our children EVERY DAY is being taken in by them and is their roadmap if you will, when they are grown. We need to be aware of what we are teaching; in our behavior, speech, loving actions, AND discipline. "NO" doesn't have to be a bad word. In fact, it is a good part of those limits we set. It doesn't have to be the only way we say it either. Kindness will get you far, not only in your relationship with your children but in the one you will end up with them as teen years loom, and beyond.

My concern here is that parenting is swinging into a dangerous swath of the pendulum and the results are going to be what our children have to contend with more than we as parents. If when they grow up a child has learned that whatever they "want" needs to be supplied to them (often without a filter by the parent) we are going to end up with people that are not only up for instant gratification, but society somehow "owes" them. Is that true?! Is that what we want?

I think we need to be more careful what we are teaching. But then again, when we know better, we do better, right? It's never too late, so let's get cracking on the better!

It's all in an opinion. We do perceive life differently and that's what keeps the world interesting. Your choice.

Please write in the comment box below & like this to send it on.

Want to learn more about what I do? www.helpformomcoach.com

Thanks for listening...

Mother's Day for some of us is a heartache. We miss our moms if they have passed on. But remember they always live in our hearts. The memories that life experience gives us with our parents can sometimes be wrenching. Perhaps you didn't have a terrific relationship with your mom. I didn't.

I have found that in life we choose our own memories for our memory bank. Just because I did not have a good relationship with my mom I have decided to take with me the good memories only. Most of the difficulties we had came from her own journey, not mine. So for me my siblings were the tight connection in my life of childhood.

I was also blessed to have an amazing grandmother, Geema. She was my rock througout her whole life and I continue to depend on her wisdom to this day. I am lucky to have had her. So I choose Geema as my guiding light and "Mother."

Also an important lesson to learn in life is that when your own mother was not perfect for you, what were the nuggets you took from that relationship. For me it was how to raise my own children differently, with intention, love, consistency, compassion, and so many more adjectives. In their journey with me, I hope that although I may not have done everything "right" that they still know how much I love them. I did the best with what I had. When we know better, we do better. That still holds true for me in my family life today.

So remember to honor whomever that "Mom" figure was for you in your life. If we don't have a nucleus of family, choose your own. The people in your life that are of greatest influence and love are the ones to go and thank for their support. Whatever your "family" looks like can be just what you need and want. Make the choice to be the best in your family, whatever that dynamic looks like.

Peace and love to all Moms on this coming day.

All moms know what this hour is - right when you're ready to start dinner. Everything seems to fall apart just around 5-7. Gosh, that was even true with a newborn! Phone rings off the hook, dogs barking, cat threwup, what else?

At my last "Meeting of the Moms" we shared some easy solutions that you may want to try. First off, has everyone had enough sleep, snacks, hugs for the day? That could be the culprit right there. So check back in with your schedule and tweak things if need be tomorrow.

For the young crowd, one mom puts on their favorite dance music & lets it rip! Yes, it's maybe loud from the family room, but they are having so much fun and are occupied and out of your hair.

Another choice was just playing classical music at a low decible. This magically just quiets all minds. It also means cutting off the TV for an hour or so, maybe even through dinner if that's the time you "connect" and ask questions about their day. Remember to ask each family member to give three great things that happened in their day today. That is, what were they grateful for today. What you focus on expands...

Also, a great activity (movement changes emotion) is let little ones set the table - who cares if it comes out perfect. Just give credit where credit is due. You can make a chart to hang on the wall with pictures of a set table, or even use it as an activity to draw their own: napkin, plate, spoon, fork - which side? Learning manners as we go. Yahoo!

Feel free to got to my website for more articles: www.helpformomcoach.com

Come along on a "Magic Bus" ride...

Stretch your hands up to the sky.

Open up your Chakra at the top of your head and allow creative light to fill you up -  bend over as the light goes down to your toes. NOW come up slowly and move your shoulders back to stand up tall. Now sit down & relax.

How do you feel?

You just activated your imagination. do this with your kids - make it silly even 0 remember Hoakie Poakie?

Let's imagine - close your eyes - and go back to your childhood and think of a fun thing you did then (what age?). Are you with siblings? Remember as much detail as you can, even the clothes you had on, the time of day, where you were. NOW write it down (save this in your "Family Meeting Book"). I'll give you 10 mins.

For us (myself & three siblings) & to get you started, we played "circus." My older brother was the Ring Master (his idea) and we (his three younger sisters) were the giraffe, lion, and bear.

Okay, what came up for you? Anyone want to share? If you didn't do this as a child, pretend in the now.

Take notes when someone tells their story & you think it was a great idea. You'll be starting your own "BOOK OF IDEAS," and saving them in the Family Meeting Book for reference.

Ask your children what they are playing and join in. Such as forts w/living room furniture cushions. Have them invite you in, "So, tell me, where is the kitchen? Your bedroom..." "Thanks for having me, bye."

Another big "imagnination game" we played was RESTAURANT...

Go peruse the "articles" section on my website and gain more ideas. Have FUN!

www.helpformomcoach.com 

With Easter just around the corner I thought I'd share a little trick we used to do when the kids were little. 

Each child had a basket with a special color ribbon (better write this one down somewhere safe so you can remember each year who's what color!). We'd put baskets by the front door (to explain how the Easter Bunny got the same one every year).

Then on Easter eve. my husband & I would "hide" the baskets around the house. Children who are too little to actually do this was how we started it. More and more of our friends tried it too and even do it now with their grandchildren (who knew!).

Then starting by the front door there were four trails of jellybeans, cuz I have four kids. All you had to do was follow your trail to your Easter Basket, of course, in a race to see who got their's first. "Your" trail was the one that started with the same color as your basket bow. 

Once you find your basket, "Oh, Yeah!" you would go back & pick up your jellybeans. 

Here's to a sunny, warm, lovely day for Easter egg hunting to all of you who participate and may everyone else have a great  meal together to celebrate your family too!

Love to all!

This is such a big word. What does it mean to you? Have you figured out that just when you thought yo uhad it ALL figured out - what? CHANGE happened? It is the stuff that life is made of for sure.

How do you handle change? Can you "go with the flow" and know that it all will work out some how? Or are you one of theones that is going to bend life to be exactly what you want, one way or another?

What we want out of life is not always so easily stated. Sometimes we get caught up in the "stuff" of life; schedules ("Have to go, I'm late!"), time ("I can't right now, I have to go!"), family demands, etc. When are you going to stop? Just stop. Now listen to the inner you and ask what is sooo important that yo have no "time." The treadmill will be there whenever yo uchoose (yes, choose) to get back on it.

Let's go to your quiet place. hat does it look like? Do yo have blue sky, birds or music you hear, soft clouds, green grass? Describe it to me, please. What goes on in this place for you? Have you spent much "time" there lately? Why not? You have access to all the wisdom you wish for right inside of you. When you have a qestion, don't you go here to find the answer? Or, did you forget about your "place"? Without our own quiet place we can become very lost in the stuff of life.

Change is something that has to occur in life. Without it we would never move forward, learn from our mistakes, challenge ourselves, live a full life. When we think it is time for a change in our lives, the thinking mind becomes conscious. Simply put, awareness makes it possible for us to create change. Unless we live in a vacuum, change is inevitable so why not be a creator of that change. Instead of just letting life happen to you, actually take responsibility for who you are and what yo want that to look like. All the information for living your best life is adundant today. In books such as "The Secret", "Living Your Best Life", "The Power of Now", "The New Earth", we can find a dozen ways to change our lives. What is best for YOU?

Life/Personal Coaching can get to these answers. You are the director of your own play (life) and how you live it. There are guiding questions that I use to find your own answers, your own inner wisdom. In this way, coaching only expands your own thinking and gets you in touch with what is true for you. In you changing, all the forces around you will change too. It is inevitiable, and works like a pebble dropping in a pond. YOU are that pebble. You can make such a difference not only in your life but all that come in contact with you. Isn't this a powerful thought? Are you ready to tackle this invigorating work to enable YOU to show up in your own life with such power? Collectively, if we all do this, we certainly can make a difference.

Are you a "supermom"? I think we all want to be that. Is it possible, probably not if we're honest. So why do we want to be one?

Mainly because we all want to be seen as that perfect mom who gets it all done, manages children and spouse's life with ease, looks great at all times; especially when picking the kids up from school. The image we put out to the world does not always reflect who we really are at home.

It's time to all get a bit vulnerable and admit that we can't do it all and look great and be admired by everyone. Moms need to know that even our best friends can see us at our worst. That best friend may even be your husband or significant other. It's OKAY. Life and how we see it is the core of living. The perception we have of what we ought to be and who we really are, needs to come together honestly.

When times get tough, the tough get going? Sometimes, but in what direction? Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs we'll ever have. That doesn't mean it's impossible and if it seems hard, what do you want to change to make it better? 

Believe it or not, asking for help can in itself be a solution. If we are stuck in not knowing what to do in a given situation with parenting, talking it out with a trusted friend may give you a new perspective on things. What would be the worst thing that could happen? That they will think "less" of you? Perhaps if you go ahead and test the waters you'll find they are looking for help too and were just waiting for you to show up with your vulnerabilities so that they can share too.

There is so much information on the internet today. Trying different things out by yourself can give you answers as to what works, but want to make it even easier? Call your coach. We all need a coach and would benefit from this transformational technique that's available today. You don't have to go it alone, ever. Make some changes today that will free you up to make lots of changes - in your life, your relationships, your kid's lives. A little vulnerability can go a long way. www.helpformomcoach.com 

When working with different families there is one theme that always comes up in general: "But my husband and I don't agree on how to discipline!"

This can be the rabbit hole that Alice fell down! I learned the hard way that a gem of parenting is learning HOW to be on the same page with your spouse. That is, agreeing on what you are communicating to your children. My husband was from an English upbringing and I came from Pennsylvania. Do you think it could be any different in backgrounds?

So, one of the most important messages I can and do share with families is that you need to get on the same page from day one. Discussions about what you want for your family and how you want to get there can be accomplished. Sometimes you just need a coach to help you find common ground. Working with your coach you can come to a meeting place that will work for both of you. Once you've done this within a "safe" space that happens with a coach, you can go away and do it on your own.

 Got to: www.helpformomcoach.com and get some more information. My book, "Moms Who Hate to Say NO! and Workbook for Busy Moms" gives guidelines for getting each other on the same page.

It doesn't just happen. Parenting is a work in progress, just like a marriage. Taking the time to work on both of these relationships on a continual basis, creates the success that we all strive for. We spend lots of time doing this for "work." Why is it not on our radar screen to be as vigilant in our own home life? It's our choice to fall down the rabbit hole & join the Mad Hatter's Tea Party, or learn to do it differently.

When having a "Meeting of the Moms" get together I find some mothers to complain about how difficult this job is. True, it's not always easy. The effort you put in though does pay you back ten-fold. Setting routines and rules often seems stiffling to moms who would rather live by the seat of their pants. I would only challenge you to try it another way.

One of my favorite sayings attributed to Dr. Phil, "So how's that working for ya?" is so poignant. When we take the time to discuss how we want to consciously (think about it first) parent our children and make routines and put structure in their lives, you actually are taking the chaos out. Without chaos you can have a peaceful, smooth running home. It's all in what you want.

When you take a trip you have the car, packed all that you may need on your journey, have a map (or GPS) to get you there. Why not have a plan for being in your family. If we all lived life without a plan, no guidelines, no consequences (not possible), we would have chaos. Life imposes limits and routines on us, or we wouldn't even make the train to get to the office and make the money to provide for our families.

There are ways to meet your requirements for YOUR family. How you want to parent is up to you. Why not learn new tools to make it easier and have some fun along the way?

Having a family coach can help you build that bridge between what you have and what you want. It is your choice to work at this or not, true. What is your choice? What results do you want?